So I got a speeding ticket on the way to work today.  I was totally speeding.  Close to 60 in a 40 so i am told.  I wish i could have explained to the officer why i was speeding.  That i was deep in thought about heartbreak, love, and loss.   I didn’t tell him so i’ll tell you instead!

I have been contemplating writing an autobiography (to be published years from now) for a few months now and i started it yesterday.  I woke up this morning thinking of some things i wanted to include in it and i was surfing through some old e-mails collecting stories/thoughts i have had/shared in the past  year.  Many of the e-mails i stumbled upon were between me and Odawni.  Many from before we recognized our feelings for each other, when we were just hanging out as friends, and some from when we were in love.

Reading these brought mostly joy to me.  I remembered how special our friendship was.  I really felt like i could tell her anything.  I shared things with her i had never shared with anyone before.  That is special.

Anyway, i left for working feeling good, stopped to get a coffee and then get in my car and looked at my ipod.  I had a very specific thought.  Usually when i hop in my car i already know what i want to listen to.  That wasn’t the case this morning.  Before i went to my playlist i specifically said to myself  “wow, i have no idea what i am going to listen now”.  The 1st playlist i saw was A Fine Frenzy- Bomb in a Birdcage… i was feeling good and decided to just go for it!

So yeah, why is it significant that i chose this CD?  Well, i haven’t listened to it at all in the past month or so.  You see, Odawni introduced to this songwriter prob back in Oct.  I love her, great music!  Turns out she was on tour and coming to Nuemos in November… November 9th to be exact.  Odawni and i got tickets like a month in advance and anxiously awaited the concert!

A lot happened in that month.  Long story short, friday Nov 6th was the day that i realized what i felt for her was Love… i realized i was in love with her.  Monday Nov 9th was the day i told her!  The day of the concert.  I told her via and e-mail… i’m not gonna share it right now but prob will in the future but the short version it was about how this Love was unconditional.   I felt joyous to feel this way and i had no expectation from her.  I didn’t expect anything to change.  I just wanted to sing and dance and enjoy her company!  Much to my surprise her response to my e-mail was “I feel the same way”… So yeah, the day of the Fine Frenzy concert… the start of something new.  It was an amazing show.  She and I stood in the back and danced out asses off… and traded knowing glances, and hugs… and even a few tears… tears of joy and love…

Anyway, so yeah, when i got pulled over i was remembering that night… the past… a time that no longer exists…  a $200 memory!

Oddly enough, the memory with the speeding ticket felt like kind of a “low”… tears, my heart was def hurting… but for me, my lows are pretty much always followed by highs and i know today will be no exception!  After work i am attending a talk at East West Bookstore called “Writing the Divine: How to Use Channeling for Soul Growth & Healing” and after that i am headed back to Nuemos for another concert!  St.  Vincent… I’m going with a group of old friends but also with a new friend i just met this week.  I don’t know where this new friendship is leading but i know with certainty it is going to prove to be significant!  Everything always comes full circle!

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