I have a dream… no, wait, that’s already been taken.  I think it is being used by the tea party these days too… I’ll say this, i have a vision, for myself and for others and it can be summed up in one word.  Enlightenment.

So what is this word, what does it mean?  I don’t know.  I know of some enlightened people.  Of course everyone knows Buddha and Jesus.  In the 60’s there were all the gurus in India that the hippies were running off too.  These days i think of Eckhart Tolle and Andrew Cohen.  Tolle’s book “A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose” changed my life.  I would love to meet him, shake his hand, tell him he changed my life.  Tell him he help me start to realize my purpose (it’s still a work in progress).   I don’t know much about Andrew Cohen but i have a few of his books (unread).  Also, he is the Guru of a spiritual mentor of mine, Karen.   I’m going to see him speak here in seattle on Thursday so i’ll find out then if i can see his light… oh so yeah, i guess i should explain what i mean when i say “see his light”.  It’s happened to me 3 times, when i “saw someones light”.  I hard heard about this “visual phenomena” from Karen at the enlightenment intensives but i only really knew what she was talking about until i saw it myself, and really, i don’t know if we saw the same thing, when i saw it, i just knew that the person was speaking “Truth”…  The first time it happened to me was when i was at this little buddhist temple in Wallingford.   I was just at the monday night public dahrma talk and he started describing the meditation we were going to do..  It was one about becoming a “wish fulfilling jewel”… it Kadampa Buddhism and it’s full of a lot of ritual and visualization meditations but they can be kind of fun.  I mean, sitting in silence and imagining yourself of as a wish fulfilling jewel that can bring joy and light to everyone all arounds sounds like a pretty cool thing!  I’m getting kinda blissed out and warm and fuzzy now just thinking about it!  And this is exactly what happened that day at the mediation.  The monk was describing the meditation to everyone in the room and i was getting totally blissed out just listening to him. Colors start getting a little brighter, i start getting a little giddy, can’t keep the smile off my face… those who have tried shrooms know what i am talking about… that’s what spirituality is like, a drug trip… anyway, i got off topic… i’m all smiling and having a hard time concentrating and i am looking around and everyone else is just sitting there, clearly not feeling what i am feeling.  The mediation starts and i try it but i’m just to happy an giddy and i want to get some indication that i’m not the only one.  So, i decide not to do the meditation and just watch the monk mediated because for sure he had to be feeling what i was feeling.  He’s a fricken monk!  And not just a a monk, he the head of the temple or whatever it’s called.  Anyway, as i’m watching it i see it on his face, oh so subtle, but it is there.  There is a tiny little smirk on his face, like the mona lisa… but he was totally calm, cool, and collected and ready to speak his truth.  Then he bows his head and then comes back up and the smirk is gone and he starts to speak.  His voice is totally different than it was before, he was now speaking from his Truth and he started describing the mediation.  Like a from a textbook, “how to do the wishfullfulling jewel meditation”.  So i am watching him, a little less blissed out and just more fascinated by what i was seeing and hearing.  Then he gets to the part about the wishfullfilling jewel, something about imagine you radiate light  or something and then all of a sudden he actually started radiating the light!  The whole room got super bright and yeah, i can’t really describe any other way, he was just radiating beams of light from all around him… then i started to have this other visual phenomena.  At one of the enlightenment intensives i went to my mentor told us about how sometimes if you stare at someone long enough you can start to see their face for who they really are.  Their face starts to morph into the all the faces they have been in past lives.  I’ve saw it happen at the intensive and i saw it with the monk too.  He was like flip flopping back and forth between being himself and Buddha, but it wasn’t super dramatic, it was kind of blurry… i mean, it was just visual phenomena… i had totally fixed my eyes on him and that was the story and images my mind created.  For me, i didn’t take it to mean he was some reincarnation of Buddha, i took it to mean that i was seeing his true “Buddha nature”.  So yeah, i saw that, and then the mediation ended, the light when away and in font of me sat this normal everyday sweet guy, Gen Kelsang Khedrub.  I don’t know much about him.  He’s about 40, he used to be an accountant, comes from a long line of accountants, and he’s canadian.

The two other times i saw people radiate light was at Kalani Oceanside retreat (which is also the place i am going to go live an work at for 3-6 months starting in january!)   Both of them happened during the Kalani talent show (that i am going to try and dance in weekly).  Both were writers.  The 1st guy was a poet.  He was introduced as an award winning poet… i wish i remembered his name… anyway, he started to red this story that he had written earlier that day… man, this story is so bizarre, i think i am going to have a hard time explaining it… so this award wining poet is standing on on stage with 3 pieces of crumpled paper in his hand and he starts reading… it’s hard to describe but it was like the worst writing ever… it was like it was written but under educated but super happy go lucky 15 year old boy (kinda like how i think my writing sounds but like 20 times worse!)… i was totally confused as to what i was listening too.  At one point in time he got a little flustered and confused himself and said something like “sorry, i just wrote this and haven’t read it until now”.  The he started reading on and the “under educated but super happy go lucky 15 year old boy”… hmmm, can i get hippy and call it his “spirit guide”?  His spirit guide started talking about mediation and i realized i was listening to “Truth” and that’s when he started to radiate the same light as the Monk did (although not as bright to me).  So yeah, he finishes reading his horrible horrible writing of Truth and i am all blissed out and everyone in the room claps but is pretty quiet.  No one knew what to think, i’m not sure they knew what they had just herd because it really was just like the worst writing you can imagine.  Anyway, blissed out Lynn yells “I saw your light dude” so i hope that made him smile… and maybe i am totally wrong, maybe everyone totally got it.  I don’t think other people say the light tho…

and then there was the third… another poet… i am falling in love just thinking about her.  She read a poem.  I don’t have the slightest clue what the poem was about, i remember the word ocean, and probably the word love.   All i remember is that she was beaming, and it was coming right out of her heart and straight at me… i was completely transfixed, i couldn’t keep my eyes of off her.  She was beautiful and she was saying the most beautiful words i had ever heard and her light was just beaming right at me and i felt Love and tears came to me eyes and i just wanted to run up to her and tell her that i saw her, i saw her Love… and we made eye contact a few times… omg, i can’t even tell you the instant crush the ensued… at the time i was just starting to date again and i was dating chicks.  I had to talk to her so i went up to her after the talent show and shyly told her i liked her poem and i said something lame like “i don’t know if you’ll know what i am talking about but when i was listening to your poem i just totally saw your light and felt the Truth and Love” and she said something like “Thanks, i saw you watching me a few time i knew that you knew”  or something like that, i don’t really remember…. all i do remember is that i let her walk away with out getting her e-mail or anything… good think i am going back to Kalani… i wonder if she likes chicks…

ok, so where are we at… oh yeah, i was talking about enlightenment… Buddha, jesus, ect…. they are enlightened, i feel like this Monk might be “enlightened”… maybe, and i think the two poets are on their way there, or maybe they are and they are just BEing with it… i don’t know… i don’t know what it means to be enlightened.  I don’t know what it looks or feels like.  But, i want it.  I think i can and will attain it in this life time, and i think lots of other people can and will too… but it takes work.  We have to “realize ourselves”… that is no easy task, but modern psychology and other fun tools have will make it much easier.  In his book eckhart tolle compares Jesus and Buddha to the early flowers of planet earth (in terms of evolution).  How billions of years ago there was a time when the first flower bloomed, it was a rare occurrence didn’t last long because the atmospheric conditions were not yet conducive…. but then one day there would have been a day when all the time was right, conditions were ripe, and there would be a massive explosion of flowers blooming… this is where i think we are.  As tolle describes it, Jesus and Buddha were the early flowers but humanity wasn’t ready for them.  Now, humanity is ready for this blossoming of consciousness… the time is ripe for every day you and me to become “enlightened” and become fully realized, like Jesus and Buddha.  So yeah, i feel like i’m about to pop, blossom, attain enlightenment, what ever you want to say… and when i say about, i don’t mean like tomorrow… i’ll get more into it in my next blog but i’ll give you a little teaser.  It might have something to do with this whole 2012 thing and the concept of the “rebirth of the divine feminine”… And all we do is just live our life’s, for many, that life wont be all that different than the life they are living now, hell, i might just end up as a burlesque dancer, but i’m opening to imagining a little (a lot) bigger and letting the chips fall where they land… So yeah, that’s the vision, i think i am going to become enlightened soon and i many many others will be with me, before me, or soon after.    I have details of the vision, for myself and for “the world” but this is getting way too long so i guess i’ll cut it here and finish tomorrow.  I’ll start with my vision for myself (which is the part that makes me feel batshit crazy) and then in a 3rd blog i guess i’ll explain how i see my vision of myself effecting the others… and then in the 4th blog i’m going to throw in an ongoing “quest for love” type story.   it’s just my story, it’s what i think my purpose on the grandest level is.  It’s fun.  🙂

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